Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Got It



GOT IT!


If you enjoy humor, please read Mud Lane, (available on Amazon.com) or listen to my free podcast on iTunes (Stephen R Drage) or here at http://www.drage.libsyn.com/

Stephen R. Drage           


 

Thursday, December 4, 2014

The vigil


I have affixed the nut onto the trap using copper wire. While I am reasonably sure that El Diablo can chew through this, I am also sure that he will trigger the spring if he does. I replace the trap in the attic, and as I do, I sense he is  watching me from the darkness. I return to my control room and sit in front of the video monitor...and wait.  







If you enjoy humor, please read Mud Lane, (available on Amazon.com) or listen to my free podcast on iTunes (Stephen R Drage) or here at http://www.drage.libsyn.com/

Stephen R. Drage           


 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

How did he do that


The video shows El Diable approaching the trap with suspicion, he circles it several times, and then proceeds to carefully remove the nut with the skill and delicate touch of a bomb disposal expert. He then drags his prize off to the side and devours it in the shadow of the trap to taunt me. The battle of wits between man and rodent has just escalated.  






If you enjoy humor, please read Mud Lane, (available on Amazon.com) or listen to my free podcast on iTunes (Stephen R Drage) or here at http://www.drage.libsyn.com/

Stephen R. Drage           


 

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Another trap


After reviewing numerous rat eradication products at my local hardware store, including poison, glue and a very high tech electrocution box, I have settled on the spring traps that really do a number on your fingers if you do not exercise extreme caution. For bait I will use the nuts as these seems irresistible to El Diablo. The nuts were difficult to put on the trap with all the band aids on my fingers. Given my competency with these devices, I am now glad that I didn't use the electrocution box.




If you enjoy humor, please read Mud Lane, (available on Amazon.com) or listen to my free podcast on iTunes (Stephen R Drage) or here at http://www.drage.libsyn.com/

Stephen R. Drage           


 

Friday, November 28, 2014

Rat


It's worse than I thought. Today I got a lovely image on the surveillance video of a large evil looking rat with glowing devil-like eyes. It is amazing that we think of squirrels as being cute, but shave their tails and they become hideous disease ridden vermin. I'm sure if rats realized that a bushy tail was all that prevented them from getting a starring role in a Disney cartoon, rodent tail toupees would be all the rage.






If you enjoy humor, please read Mud Lane, (available on Amazon.com) or listen to my free podcast on iTunes (Stephen R Drage) or here at http://www.drage.libsyn.com/

Stephen R. Drage           


 

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Lights, Camera, Action


From my days living in Florida, I retain a video surveillance system. I am going to look for it and install it in the attic, so that I might get a good look at exactly how this devilish beast performs his magic. As I recall it was quite an elaborate system with infra red motion sensitive cameras that record to a hard drive. It's the sort of hardware that Al Pachino used in Scarface. 
“Say goodbye to my little friend.”



If you enjoy humor, please read Mud Lane, (available on Amazon.com) or listen to my free podcast on iTunes (Stephen R Drage) or here at http://www.drage.libsyn.com/

Stephen R. Drage           


   

Monday, November 24, 2014

El Diablo strikes again


By some miracle this crafty animal is able to circumvent my best efforts to eliminate him. I drove around for about an hour today looking for a stray cat that I could put up in the attic to provide a little company for the unwelcome invader. I found three but they proved more difficult to catch than El Diablo. In desperation I stopped at a local pet store to purchase a boa constrictor, but changed my mind when I realized that the cure may well be worse than the disease.


If you enjoy humor, please read Mud Lane, (available on Amazon.com) or listen to my free podcast on iTunes (Stephen R Drage) or here at http://www.drage.libsyn.com/

Stephen R. Drage           


 

Saturday, November 22, 2014

The nuts are gone


The nuts are gone. I have heard that there is such a thing as a flying squirrel, and for the first time am forced to consider that I may be dealing with one. This assumption is based entirely on the idea that he is flying into the cage and hovering while he eats the nuts – thereby avoiding putting his weight on the pressure trigger and averting subsequent capture. We seem to be at an stalemate now. I'm going to try it one more time and if it doesn't work I will electrify the cage.



If you enjoy humor, please read Mud Lane, (available on Amazon.com) or listen to my free podcast on iTunes (Stephen R Drage) or here at http://www.drage.libsyn.com/

Stephen R. Drage           


 

Thursday, November 20, 2014

El Diablo doesn't like apple


This morning, by some means known only to El Diablo, the apple had been licked clean of peanut butter. The trap remains empty and un-sprung. Did he actually go inside it or did he remove the sticky bait with some devious trickery. Alternatively he may be too small and lite to spring the trap, or even smaller, and is able to crawl through the bars. I am going to try again and use nuts that are too large to fit through the bars – thereby forcing him to go inside the trap.




If you enjoy humor, please read Mud Lane, (available on Amazon.com) or listen to my free podcast on iTunes (Stephen R Drage) or here at http://www.drage.libsyn.com/

Stephen R. Drage           


 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Have-a-heart



Have found something called a Have-a-heart trap. Apparently it's what the experts use. It has a spring loaded door activated by a pressure plate just in front of the bait, and is guaranteed to trap the little... botheration. But having witnessed the ease with which squirrels defeat my squirrel-proof bird feeder my confidence for the mission is not particularly high. For bait, I have used an apple covered in peanut butter. This is supposed to be the very pinnacle of rodent dietary passion.



If you enjoy humor, please read Mud Lane, (available on Amazon.com) or listen to my free podcast on iTunes (Stephen R Drage) or here at http://www.drage.libsyn.com/

Stephen R. Drage