Tuesday, December 6, 2011

HIGH ART

Last weekend I had the very questionable pleasure of visiting the HIGH Museum of Art, in Atlanta, GA  
The current exhibit was entitled Picasso to Warhol. Anxious to find out what was so special about a can of soup and a man with a nose growing out of the side of his head, I went along. Having visited the exhibit, I still don't know the answer to this question.
It's not that I don't enjoy well rendered and original artwork. It's just that I didn't see any of it at the museum.
Here is the breakdown, based on what I saw.



Marcel Duchamp
1887 - 1968
In Advance of the Broken Arm
Simply put, this is a snow shovel hanging on a wire It has nothing to do with arms, broken or otherwise. Anyone that thinks this is good should visit my garage. I have many more garden tools than this, and they are displayed in a much more conversation provoking manner.








Joan Miro
1893 - 1983
Person throwing a stone at a bird




Call me a cheapskate if you like but I'm simply not going to pay money for something that looks as if it could have been created by my neighbor. And my neighbor, judging by his front door, doesn't have much familiarity with paint or its application.







Pablo Picasso
1881-1973
Girl before a Mirror





I think we can all agree that this is not very good.  A better title might be 'cosmetic surgery training school' or 'Girl after a car crash' The background isn't even level. In my opinion Picasso is just not trying hard enough on this one.










Piet Mondrian
1872 - 1944
Trafalgar Square




This is called Trafalgar square. I've been to Trafalgar square and this is not it. Trafalgar square has huge statuesque cast iron lions, a 169 ft column supporting a statue of Lord Nelson, who gazes wistfully out to sea, thousands of pidgins, and almost no thick black parallel lines and colored blocks.






Jackson Pollock
1912 - 1956
Number 1a

This one is called Number 1a and was painted in 1950. it should not under any circumstances be confused with number 1, painted the previous year, but having seen both, the mistake could be easily forgiven






Andy Warhol
1928 - 1987
Self portrait


Self portrait? OK I have one for you. How come he actually painted 18 self portraits (26 if you count this one as 9 which in itself is a bit of a scam.) They are all different, which would suggest he's not that good at it. An Andy Warhol self portrait sold earlier this year for $38.45 million dollars, providing the truth behind Andy Warhol's famous quote, "Art is what you can get away with."




I may be grossly overestimating my own abilities but I think I could paint something at least this good. Nail it on the wall next to any of these and have all those academics rubbing their chin's thoughtfully mumbling about negative capability, divergent symmetry and saturated hues. The only problem is that my name's not Piet Mondrain!


Stephen R. Drage
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